A little motivational note to all Erasmus students

1

November 26, 2014 by chloehathway

It’s been almost a month since I wrote a blog post, and I’m not entirely sure why. And suddenly, without me even realising, it’s almost time to go home for Christmas. Where has the time gone?!

Well, I actually spent some of it studying. Studying! I suddenly realised that French university was really hard and the ridiculous lack of organisation and the fact I was not fluent were not putting the odds of passing in my favour. I’m a good student back in the UK… I don’t want to fail! So to be honest, I have done quite a lot of work in the past two weeks. But, there have been results! I’ve passed one of my modules, finished a 15 page dossier and done one of my assessments. Erasmus the Humanist scholar (whom the Erasmus programme is named after) would be proud.

And in the meantime, I’ve thought a lot about France and what it means to speak French and be French. It’s so easy to get lost in the Erasmus bubble, and sometimes this needs careful consideration. The reality is, most of my friends here are international students, like me. I wouldn’t really say that Erasmus students are warmly welcomed into the classes of the French students, either. In summary, my contact with French people my own age is, for the most part, limited to asking them questions in translation classes and eating dinner with them in the evening (actually, it is more than that but you get the idea). And for a few days, I was disappointed in myself. I came to France to speak French with French people and make French friends. More than that, I came to France because I had this far-fetched dream of becoming wonderfully French and sophisticated (stupid, I know), and a master of their culture and language.

The reality is totally different. Yes, I live in France. And yes, I attend university in one of the biggest cities in the country. But the brutal truth is that I will never be French. To be honest, I think it would take even more than a year to become completely immersed and integrated into French life and culture, let alone to be fluent too. I haven’t achieved everything I wanted to achieve in France because this hasn’t happened, and like I said, I was really disappointed and angry with myself for a little while.

Now I have a different perspective. I am British, and as the British say, I made a jolly good effort during my semester in France. I will actually never be French. I actually may never be completely fluent. And do you know what? That’s okay.

I am so lucky to speak three languages and no matter what level I obtain by the time I graduate, I will be learning them forever. I have seized so many opportunities in France, tried things I never would have done back home and become, what I feel, is a more rounded person. I have met so many people, seen lots of new places and lived in one of the loveliest cities I have ever seen. And to top it all off, I really have improved my French and that is exactly what I came here to do.

4 months will never make me fluent, and that’s something I accepted a long time ago. But, it’s enough time for me to improve considerably. Basically, I have no French “bffe”s, but maybe I should stop being so hard on myself. Maybe we all should (Erasmus, I’m talking to you!).